THE PIRATE JOE PLAN TO END THE WAR IN IRAQ.

13 November, 2006

Democrats; print this out, you’re gonna need it!


    Last week’s victories were welcome, needed and vital. The pronouncements and speeches all were grand, the perfect prescription for a population that has endured six years of it’s constitutional rights being stripped away, it’s jobs being sent overseas, and it’s sons and daughters killed in yet another senseless war.    
    So, Democrats, now that the speeches are over, it’s time to DO SOMETHING! After all these expectations, you had better get the job done before November, 2008. Since the War In Iraq (I will not dignify the lie by referring to it as a “war on terror”) was one of the major issues, here’s my plan to end it fast. Print this out, save it, cut and paste it into your own writings, hell, you can even claim it was your idea, I don’t care, just stop the killing. Bear in mind that this is the only plan that has a chance of working. You could spend billions on committees, but here’s your opportunity to save that money (you might think of putting it into improved passenger railroad service) and use this idea for free:

CLAIMS:

1. It’s the fastest way to end the waste of American and Iraqi lives.
2. It has the greatest chance of success.
3. It will save trillions.
4. It will be the least advantageous to Al Qaeda .
5. It’s the only possible way to leave without the insurgents taking over.
6. It’s simple and oh-so-easy! (You’ll be asking: now why didn’t I think of that?)

Step 1. Take a battalion or two and go to the prison where Saddam Hussien is being held.

Step 2. Bring him to a secure meeting place.

Step 3. Ask him how much he will need to put his government back in place. (Geez, I hope someone saved some of those statues)

Step 4. Give it to him. (What the hell, it’s bound to cost a lot less than $250,000,000 per day!)

Step 5. Spend two or three months (only) to help him get set up, then get the %@#& out, FAST!

Step 6. Keep him happy, and be thankful. After all, he was the one man that saved you from the loss of hundreds of thousands of lives and eventual financial takeover by Red China.

Step 7. Stop reading this; GET OUT THERE AND DO IT!

P.S. Yes, I’ve been a bit tongue-in-cheek, but I assure you, I am serious.


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free to all members of the U.S. Congress, president and vice-president. for everyone else: copyright 2006, Pirate Joe.